New Year's Day - so how was it for you? The humans had a really good night last night, drinking lots of red wine and talking more amd more tosh the longer the evening went on. There was the fringe benefit that they fed me twice because they were both too befuddled to know what they were doing. They both look a bit green again this morning, I helpfully woke them up at just after seven o'clock by doing my dive bomb act on the bed. Start the year as you mean to go on ...
I'm really upset that the snow has gone, I really like the stuff. I am probably the first cat ever to build a snowmouse!! Apparently it is no longer politically correct to build snowmen (has to be a snow person apparently - how silly!) but I think a mouse was pretty well as P.C. as you can get. I was really pleased with it (it may have looked a tad more like a vole than a mouse though) and was adding the final touches when the humans appeared and started clearing the drive. My masterpiece gone in one swipe of a red plastic B & Q shovel! I was not happy ... had a another go at the bonsai houseplant to get my revenge on them. Pah!
Later that week...
Been a quiet week, the humans are back at work. All I get every evening is lots of moaning about 'the state of the trains'. Seem to me they would be better off staying here and looking after me properly rather than gadding around all day enjoying themselves. If the trains are in a state why keep going off and playing around on them?
Grrrrrrr...
They tried to palm me off with some cheap cat food tonight. What's the world coming to? I'm determined not to touch the stuff however hungry I get...
... had a quick nibble when they were not looking. Seriously horrible stuff - I don't know what came over them, they should know better. There have been mutterings about the size of Christmas VISA bill but why should that should have an effect on my supply of Whiskers and Felix? Did I use their plastic card? No I did not. They should control their spending and focus on the essentials. LIKE CAT FOOD.
This is turning into a serious battle of wills. They have, by all accounts, bought four tins of this horrible cat food as some misguided economy measure. As I have no intention of eating it they have made a very serious mistake because I am standing firm. This is the thin end of the wedge! I am not going to eat it because it will set a very bad precident. I'm getting hungry though - no biscuits left in the scratcher either ...
Desparate measures...
Oh dear ... can a cat be in a doghouse? If so, I am! Desparate times need desparate measures. However being discovered sat on the worktop helping yourself to a nice meal of roast beef does not seem to have gone down very well with the humans. Their visitors looked a bit stunned too ... no-one fancied the beef after my attack (I only had a go at one side of it!) so they ended up having sausages and Yorkshire pudding for Sunday lunch. They should be grateful it was'nt the Cheapocat chunks...
The next day...
More beef for lunch today ... well, they have to use it up somehow. Should be enough to last me for the next few days...
And the day after...
Think I may be on bread and water from now on! Having just got over the roast beef incident now I'm in really in the soup! Not my own fault of course ... I was merely jumping around on the computer the other day (as you do) when I accidentally thumped the return key with a paw. Suddenly there were lots of pinging noises from the box and lots of emails started downloading and stuff. My first successful log on - the humans are always moaning that they cannot get connected first time ... I did'nt have a problem.
Crikey ... the humans have really lost it now! They did not notice for over a day that I had logged on and they have just got the telephone bill for a twenty eight hour local call on a dodgy dial up connection. |
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